


Here's To The Rest of My Life

by SammiB



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Binge Drinking, Gallavich, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3570200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammiB/pseuds/SammiB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not easy for Ian to accept his diagnosis, But eventually he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here's To The Rest of My Life

Mickey groaned violently as his phone woke him from a good nap. God knows that this morning wasn't the greatest way to wake up and deep down Mickey was hoping for a redo.Through blurry more than half asleep eyes, Mickey reached for his phone and answered.

"Yo." Mickey moaned to the person on the other side.

"Hey, Mickey." Fiona answered. "Have you heard from Ian since this morning?"

"I thought you were bringing him to the diner?" Mickey raised his head in attention.

"I did and when I came back he was gone." Mickey was more than awake by now, rubbing the sleep from the corner of his eyes.

"I'll call him." Mickey didn't wait for a response and hung up. He quickly dialed Ian's number and waited for him to answer.

_**Hey, this is Ian** _

Micky cursed and he felt like he was right back to where he was a week ago. Calling Ian non stop, praying for him to answer. Panic crept up his chest and into his heart. Mickey wasn't the same as he was then, he had evolved. Mickey clicked the home button on his iPhone and went to the app he downloaded in the middle of the night.He pushed in Ian's phone number and watched as a map of Chicago came up and an arrow pointing to a bar in the south side. All Mickey needed was his shoes and he was out.

* * *

Ian couldn't seem to drown out the words of the nurse from this morning. **  
**

_30, 40 years_

Ian couldn't imagine him being in his 40s or 50s still taking mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics. He couldn't even wrap his head around what happened this morning. He knows what he heard and saw but everything else was saying another story.Ian didn't know how to deal so he did the thing he'd been doing for a while now. Took another shot. The hard liquor burned the back of his throat and he savored it.

Sitting in this red bar stool, he understood why frank made it his career and lifelong goal to be inebriated. It was like with one gulp all his worries, fears, and every fucking thing left in the world could burn with his esophagus. Ian motioned for the bartender to fill him up again. This was shot number 3 now and he was starting to feel the buzz and warmth of being disoriented. He felt content as he lifted the glass to his lips but he vodka never touched his tongue as Mickey snatched the glass from him.

Ian watched in amazement as Mickey threw the glass back and swallowed the clear liquid like it was water. No reaction whatsoever.

"What are you doing here?" Ian asked as he motioned for the bartender for another fill. Mickey glared as the the guy over the counter came to fill the glass. "You fill that glass, I'm gonna make sure that you never pour another drink again." Mickey threatened wih raised eyebrows and a serious face.

The young bartender had enough sense to look at Mickey's knuckle tattoos and put down the bottle and raised his hands in surrender. Ian reached for the bottle and poured his own drink.

"You know you shouldn't drink while on your meds." Mickey told Ian as he downed the drink once again. Ian rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's go home." Mickey said. Ian shook his head.

"No." Instead Ian reached behind the bar for a pen and napkin. He numbered the napkin from one to five. "One?" He questioned out loud.  Mickey rubbed his face with his right hand.

"Fiona. Obviously since she's my Gaurdian and all." Ian wrote Fiona's name beside the one.

"What the fuck are you doing now?" Mickey asked as Ian wrote Lip by the two, then Debbie by the three.

"It's my suicide list." Ian said without looking at Mickey, his focus trained on the napkin in front of him.  Mickey couldn't take it anymore.  _Fuck this_ Mickey cursed internally as he snatched the napkin from the table.

"You don't need a suicide list." Mickey tried to remain calm but milkoviches were known for their temper. Ian snatched it back.

"Trust me, I do." Mickey couldn't believe the words coming out of Ian's mouth. Ian tried to tell himself that what he just said was nothing, but he and Mickey both knew the power of those words. Ian skipped the fourth slot and wrote Mickey's name by the five.

"So that's where I fit? The last space?" If Mickey wasn't hurt before he was definently hurt now.

"Yep," Ian admitted shamelessly. "If possible I want you to be the very last one to know if I get to that point."

"Why?" Ian shrugged his shoulders. But he knew exactly why: He wanted to save Mickey the pain and hurt of seeing him like that. The image of his mom sitting in a pool of blood in the middle of the kitchen flashed in his mind but it wasn't his mom; it was him. Was this how the rest of his life was going to be like? Living on an emotional roller coaster with no way of getting off? Once again the nurses voice echoed in his mind.

_30, 40 years._  Ian chuckled deeply. His abrupt laugh made a chill run down Mickey's spine.

"30 to 40 years. you heard the lady this morning." He ran a hand through his thick hair as he looked at Mickey. "Can you even imagine what you're gonna be doing in your 40s and 50s?" Mickey opened his mouth to speak but Ian beat him to it. "Cuz I can't. I don't even see myself reaching 19 let alone 40." Mickey had never seen Ian like this. And he hated it.

"It'll be okay. One day at a time, you know?" Mickey tried to assure Ian but mostly himself. Tell himself that it would be okay, that they'd get through this like they had everything else. But even Mickey didn't believe the words coming out his mouth.

"No, it won't." Ian admitted blatantly. "From here it only gets worse. But what can I do about it? Nothing so I'm gonna suck it up and get over it."

Ian refilled his glass and raised it to Mickey.

 "To.." Ian thought hard and smiled. "To the next 40 years of my life. To taking meds daily, seeing a therapist, a life sentence of bad side effects..." He paused.

"Here's to the rest of my life, in a nutshell." Ian looked to Mickey in agreement and downed his last drink. "No pun intended."

After that he got up, put on his jacket and laid a bill on the counter. Mickey wasn't sure what to do but maybe nothing was the best option.

"Let's go home." Ian threw an arm around Mickey and left.

**Author's Note:**

> Is it good? or nah?  
> Find me on tumblr: sammib-25


End file.
